Ok, in our memory, we must say that Apple seems to be a model of green company. All its products
are full of creativities and have simple, clean and easy to use design
s. And you may remember that Apple launched "Go Red" project last year to give a great support for public welfare of AIDS. However, all actions above show that Apple establish
es a good example
for of building
a firm reputation and appearance, but have no relationship with environmental protection.
For those Apple fans, they probably claim that Apple does pay attention to environmental issue and public just don't know it very well. Part of
the assert
ion is true: it is difficult for consumer
s to figure out
how much to what degree that a company invest in green topic. Besides the announcement made by any company, people know nothing about the production line and material
s or chemical
s they used in producing process. For us, it's a black corner and should be investigated entirely.
According to the latest report of
Green Peace which is the famous and the most positive environmental protection organization, Apple did not reach the quality of green company and be scored at the lower section. Astounding? Yes. Even Acer earned a better score then Apple in the report. If we dig
ging the report further, we may find out the
most bad worst score comes from production process
. which It also proves the assum
ption made earlier in this article
true. It's a warning sign to the OEM companies in Taiwan and China. Almost all products of Apple
are made in these area
s for cheaper manpower and any criticism on Apple in the future would transfer to them at the end. They
had better
be working work on this part right away
, or else it will be too late to correct when trend has switched. For a better earth, we all have responsibility.
Guide to greener electronics from Green Peace
Guide to greener electronics from Green Peace
發表文章
6 則留言:
1. 第一段第二句，full of 是一個形容詞片語，前面要有be動詞。另外，design有很多樣，要加"s"，因此，應改成：All its products are full of creativities and have simple, clean and easy to use designs.
2. 第一段第四句，"-sh"結尾的單字，動詞或多數，字尾要加"es"，所以"establish"的動詞變化應為"establishes"。reputataion可以是可數或不可數名詞，單數用法較常見。example後面的介系詞為of。正確寫法：...that Apple establishes a good example of building a firm reputation...
第二段第二句，assert(v.)應改為assertion(n.)。消費者"consumer"為多數，加"s". "how much degree"問的是溫度、角度，如果問的是無法具體化的"程度"，"to what degree"。如：To what degree do you like yourself?
因此，此句改成：Part of the assertion is true: it is difficult for consumers to figure out to what degree a company invests in green topic.
第二段第三句，製造的原料和化學藥劑可能會有多種，應該都加上"s"。寫成：...and materials or chemicals...
第三段第一句，照句子結構看，A,B,C. 如果B是A的同位語，可有可無，而後面的C，才是真正和A相關的重點，也就是 A is C.
如：Paris, the capital of France, is an exciting city. 因此，這句裡的"the famous and the most positive environmental protection organization"，應改成形容詞子句，形容Green Peace。變成：According to the latest report of Green Peace which is the famous and the most positive environmental protection organization,...
第三段第四句，digging改為dig；bad的最高級是worst。正確寫法：If we dig the report further, we may find out the worst score comes from production process. 另外，which 所帶領的子句可以修飾句子，但前面要加逗號。這樣的用法在口語上比較常見，正式的寫作中並不建議。所以可以將which之後的子句改成獨立的句子，接續在前句之後，assume(v.)改為assumption(n.)，prove(v.)的結果也要交代。It also proves the assumption made earlier in this article true.
第三段第六句，連接詞and前後的連結關係要對等，products是被製造，因此要用被動，改成：Almost all products of Apple are made in these area for cheaper manpower and any criticism on Apple in the future would transfer to them at the end.
第三段第七句，had better + 原型V，"最好..."，or else前面要加逗號。
They had better work on this part right away, or else it will be too late to correct when trend has switched.
補充：第三段第六句，area要加s==>areas
累了，睡覺去...
To Master JC,
已修正，請 review 一下。有個問題，你提到第三段第一句應改成 which is 成為形容詞子句。又於第三段第四句說：「which 所帶領的子句可以修飾句子，但前面要加逗號」。那請問第三段第一句要不要加上「，」號呢？
麻煩就 which 開頭的形容詞子句寫篇教學在你的 blog 吧。
第三段第一句不要加上逗號，因為which帶領的子句是要修飾Green Peace這個名詞，原則上，用到關係代名詞，越接近欲修飾的名詞越好。如果你加上逗號，就等同於同位語的意思，這樣和你文章原句的寫法沒有不同。
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